herumtreiber: (jacob)
Merry Christmas!
(It's hard to resist the temptation to put Santa hats on everyone)

jakeward-santa

drarry-santa-better


herumtreiber: (twilight jake)
Title: The Santa wolf
Author: herumtreiber
Rating: PG-13
Pairing (Characters): Jacob/Edward, Bella, Seth
Word count: ~1,268
Warnings: Humor, preslash. SFW manip; Jake, Edward and Seth are not hurt.
Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, not me. This is for fun, not profit.
Summary: During New Moon Bella goes on an outing with Jacob. Unexpected things happen.


The Santa wolf )



herumtreiber: (emmet gif)
Title: Jacob's choice
Author: herumtreiber
Rating: NC-17
Characters: Jacob/Edward/Emmett
Word count: ~5,379
Warnings: Emmett/Jake/Edward threesome, graphic sex, rimming, Bella bashing, drama, language
Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, not me. This is for fun, not profit.
Summary: Jacob faces a very tough choice
Notes: The previous parts are: Moonlight is for lovers, Moonlight's end, The wolf's Aurora, The moonlit skies, Confrontation in Volterra, Toscana interlude and Hot Volterra nights
Also for [livejournal.com profile] porsha85   Happy birthday!

threejammed3childofdoom
banner by [livejournal.com profile] vanashta


Jacob's choice )



herumtreiber: (Default)
Title: Trouble with potions
Author: herumtreiber
Fandoms: Crossover HP/Twilight
Characters: Snape, Bella, offscreen Jake/Edward, and Neville
Word Count: 305
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Humor and violence
Disclaimer: JK Rowling and S. Meyer own them, not me. This is for mischief's sake, not profit.
Summary: Bella takes potions class. Snape is not amused. At all.
Author's notes: This is for [livejournal.com profile] wirrrn and [livejournal.com profile] vanashta



Severus sneered... )


herumtreiber: (big bad wolf)
I've written 2,808 words for the next chapter.
I tried to do what Meyer does so well, where everyone waxes enthusiastic about The BellaTM
I'm afraid it didn't work :(

Here's a snippet. Warning for coarse language.




I glared at Edward. "You were really mad."

He shrugged guiltily. "You hurt my Singer, Jacob. I was still under her thrall."

I sipped the cola and then lowered the can, pressing its coldness against my bicep while I nodded, accepting his apology. "I understand, Edward. I  went berserk when Paul phased and threatened her."

Emmett snorted and gazed sideways at us, glaring at a point between Ed and me. "You two were deluded fools, pining for that bitch. Paul should've snapped her bony ass in half."


The powers of The BellaTM may seem awesome, but I have prepared something for her, carefully hinted at here.





herumtreiber: (sun & lion)
Here is a succinct and pictorial review of Breaking Dawn part 2 which contains spoilers. Warning for Bellas... and all those who love her are advised not to open this.






Bella wins the hearts of the viewers by protecting Bambi


Bambi, why didn't you kick her up the... ?


Bella loves the letter 'e' and goes berserk when people don't use it.
Dearest Bella: I am not amused. At all. It would seem great white sharks, wendigos and zombies are not enough for you, so prepare yourself.

--

The Cullens give Kristen Stewart acting lessons, in which they fail miserably.

zombie!Bella is canon
--

The Volturi are evil because they are doing their duty.

http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/herumtreiber/33508470/197604/197604_original.jpg

--

Alice attires herself superbly for battle.

http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/herumtreiber/33508470/196987/196987_original.jpg

--

Edward reveals hidden incestual tendencies


Sonny and Ched

--

Spoilers for the deleted final scene: * Benjamin shows up at the meadow. Enraged at Bella, he causes a chasm in the earth into which the pointy, whey-faced wisp of a trampire falls screaming to her fiery death. Edward seeks succor in Jake. Renesmee goes to Scotland in search of her real father, the Loch Ness monster (turns out the Monster was taking his summer vacation at a resort off the coast of Brazil, where he met Bella. One thing led to another and that is why Bella got so mad at Jacob; unwittingly, the wolf stumbled upon the truth) Note: The imprint fails when it deals with monsters' daughters (by monster, I don't mean Scottish Nessie)*

--



herumtreiber: (wild jake)
Warning: Image-heavy and NSFW


Masterlist of fics and vids )



herumtreiber: (biker)
So far, I have 6,629 words of Chapter twenty, where very intense and interesting things happen. Here's a peek:


Read more... )


herumtreiber: (laptop!jake)
There's a scene I love in Umberto Eco's Foucault's pendulum: the Milanese editor, Jacopo Belbo, and his friend Casaubon are weaving plots from wacky manuscripts. They decide to feed random lines into an archaic word processor, print the results and pour over them. They are struck by the repetitions and patterns, eventually leading to their concocting even weirder plots.

When I write haikus, sometimes they come easy. Most of the time, though, I have to fiddle with them: search new words, take care of the number of syllables, adjust the imagery and so on. I write them on notepad, and sometimes I don't erase the lines. At times I have trouble deciding which version to post.

So here are some haikus in raw form.

Warning for 2 suggestive lines.


Drarry... )




Jakeward )



herumtreiber: (sun & lion)
Title: reflections after the fall
Author:
herumtreiber
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Poetry, ballad
Characters: Edward/Jacob

Word count: 142
Warnings: Suggestion
Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. This is for fun, not profit.


I saw.... )

herumtreiber: (Default)
Here's the beginning of the next chapter of 'Moonlight' it's going to be around 2,000 words and things turn complicated.

Read more... )


herumtreiber: (Default)
1322664639

There are some interesting comparisons. Warning for a bellyful of Bellas.


Image-heavy post )


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