herumtreiber

Title: Chapter six
Author:

herumtreiber
Rating: NC-17
Characters: Edward/Jacob
Word count: 4,204
Warnings: None
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, Stephenie Meyer does. Nor do I make any money from this writing.
Notes: This occurs just after Eclipse. Edward mulls over his upcoming marriage.

Table of contents

Chapter five

Bella scrunched up her face, her eyebrows twitching in that lovable way she had. I recalled it was the same gesture she used when Dimitri was holding my neck, about to tear off my head at the behest of Aro.

I ran to the wall and turned on the lights. After all, it was only fair that Bella should see me as clearly as I was able to see her.

"Calling off the wedding? Breaking up with me? You're joking, right?" She sat up on the bed, unconsciously pulling down her blouse as she worried her lip.

"Bella… I'm serious." My voice came out hoarse, bereft of the soothing harmonics that served to enthrall the listeners.

Bella pulled the iPad onto her lap as if she wanted to consult something. After a moment she threw it away and it skidded to a stop on the edge of her plum comforter, the color I hated.

She lifted her hands to her hair, brushing it aside, almost pulling it. "You're mad, Edward." She frowned at me, sitting on the bed, ignoring the helping hand I reached towards her.

"Edward, if this is a ploy to keep me safe from the Volturi, forget it! I'm willing to risk everything for you because I love you." She crossed her arms around her slim body and rocked back and forth in the quintessential pose of grief captured so well by the sculptor Käthe Kollwitz.

I rubbed a hand across my weary face, wishing that I could sweat, that I could cry. This was a moment that demanded tears on my part, for I was about to break Bella's heart.

"Bella, I've found someone else."

She looked up at me as tears slid down her alabaster cheeks, glinting like diamonds matching her dragonfly lights.

"Tell me you're lying, Edward. Our love," she motioned with her hand, encompassing both of us, "it was supposed to last forever! We'd get married as you wanted and then you'd turn me and we'd always stay together."

I stood up and turned away from her. I felt like a coward, like I couldn't tell her the truth face to face. Exactly like the summer day in 1942 when my life changed.

"People change, Bella. I think your scent, what Aro said about you being my Singer, it… obfuscated me and lured me as if I wa-"

"Obfuscated you! How dare you tell me this?" Bella yelled; when I turned my face to look at her she was glaring at me.

I motioned to the door, fearful that Charlie would hear his daughter shouting and come to investigate. This appeared to calm her down slightly. She tugged on her blouse and hid her face behind her hands.

"Jake was right! He told me you'd break my heart once more." She lifted her arms as her voice rose steadily. "You hooked up with someone else? Who's she? Don't tell me… she's another vampire? I should've seen it coming."

"Bella, it's not-"

She interrupted me as if she didn't hear my words, laughing brokenly. "Your kind, they're so beautiful and cruel. Just like Jake said… the Cold Ones."

I gulped involuntarily. Things were not going as I had thought. I imagined I would tell her, that she would be furious with me but after I explained my reasons she would calm down. That she would take things in stride.

Apparently I was wrong. It didn't matter how long I'd lived, I would never understand women.

"Who's the fucking bitch?" Bella glared at me, grabbing a pencil from her nightstand.

I shook my head. I'd never heard Bella swear. Maybe she did it mentally but since I wasn't privy to her inner monologue, there was no way I would ever know.

I glanced at the oak outside as I replied in a monotone voice. "It's not a woman, but a man."

"A... man? You are going to leave me for a MAN?" Bella shouted.

I looked at the reflection of her angry face in the framed poster of The Killers. Veins were pulsing on her temple, and in that moment I felt completely disconnected from reality.

"You're gay now? Is this another ploy to get rid of me? You're going to the Volturi and ask them to kill you because you're-" Bella made stabbing motions with the pencil, as if she was facing the Volturi, or me.

"It's not that! This is for real!" I replied exasperatedly, lifting my arms toward the ceiling

I heard Charlie Swan's rapid steps on the hall. Bella's father opened the door to her room. I moved with my usual speed and dived out the window; balancing aloft as my hand gripped the outer window ledge.

"Bella, what's wrong?" Charlie sounded as if he'd had a bad day. He was imagining it was me Bella was fretting about.

Of course he was right.

"Nothing, Charlie. It was just a bad dream, that's all."

I heard the rustling of the sheets against the comforter as Bella searched for something. Someone opened a bag. I wondered what was going on inside the room; fortunately Chief Swan's thoughts told me Bella was holding her cell phone.

"Who are you going to call?"

Charlie was annoyed when Bella paid him no mind, as was her wont.

My stomach lurched at her next words.

"Jake, sorry to wake you up but-"

If I couldn't read Bella's thoughts, I did hear my wolf's answer on the other side.

"Hell's Bells? Why are you calling me this late? Something's the matter?"

Bella sobbed. "Edward told me-"

"Finally? The leech told you that we're together?" Hearing this, I heartily wished I could throttle the oblivious mutt.

"Jake, what are you talking about?" Bella sounded timid, her voice rising at the end in disbelief.

"Edward and I, we are lovers or at least…" Jake's voice trailed off; apparently the wolf finally realized that I hadn't told her yet about his involvement. Certainly I would've been more diplomatic than the infuriating, plain-spoken mutt.

"Wait… what did he tell you, exactly?" Jake sounded hoarse; in that incongruous moment I felt a delicious shiver running through my spine hearing his sensual voice.

Bella moaned, sounding weak as if she was a small girl whose father tells her there are no gifts for Christmas. "You and Edward… are together? Jacob, how could you betray me, your best friend?"

Charlie's thoughts were a mixture of relief tinged with reluctant grief. He was pleased that Bella and I would not be together anymore, but like any father he didn't like to see his daughter suffering.

I was distracted from Chief Swan's thoughts when I heard Jacob's angry response on the phone.

"Betray you?" he roared, "What in the fuck are you talking about, Bella? It was you who left me for Edward after I nursed you back to your old self. You had to run to your-"

"At least I didn't ruin my best friend's wedding by sleeping with her fiancé!" Bella really let loose on Jacob, as she did whenever they fought. The care she always took in her dealings with me was lacking when she spoke with Jake. "What did you do, Jacob? Did you get on all fours and wiggle your behind so Edward would forget about me?"

Chief Swan's thoughts were very distracting. I'm too old to listen to all the teenage angst. Tomorrow I'll pick up the pieces and try to mend my daughter's heart. It's a pity, Jacob and she could have been great. I'm getting too old for this shit.

With the equivalent of a mental shrug, the Chief finished this train of thought. I wish I was back in the 80's when things were much, much simpler.

But then I dismissed Chief Swan's thoughts for the imagery called up by Bella was warming my blood, metaphorically speaking. I visualized Jacob on a leather couch, his bronzed arms gripping the armrests, biceps bulging and legs splayed. Shaking his ass enticingly at me as I growled.

My mind grudgingly returned to Bella's heated conversation with her other, former suitor.

".. tell me you imprinted on Edward, Jake. At least that way, it will be fate that defeated me and..."

Jake's answer came loud and clear. "No, Bella. I haven't imprinted. Told you it feels like gravity fails. Haven't felt that, even when Edward and I-"

I shrank back from the wall, my grip on the window ledge slipping a bit. I wasn't that worried about falling down because my body could easily handle that, but the sound would attract Chief Swan.

I held on tightly to the wood as I shook my head in disbelief. It would be just like the oblivious wolf to blurt out what happened that time when we had sex, hurting Bella's feelings.

I didn't have to worry. I heard the sound of the cell phone hitting the wall.

"Are you alright, Bella?" Charlie was worried about Bella's uncharacteristic behavior. He mourned that Jake would no longer be available as Bella's friend, thinking that was more important than the fact that Bella and I were no longer a couple.

"I'm fine, Charlie. Just give me time." Bella sounded tired and defeated.

"You want me to stay with you? I could give you a glass of hot milk."

"No, please go back to bed. I know you have a busy day tomorrow."

I heard the door open as Charlie went out of the room, calling out to Bella, "I have a headache, Bella. Doubt I can sleep. If you need me to talk about that… girly stuff, just give me a shout."

"Sure, Charlie. I will."

I took that as my cue and heaved my body up, blessing my inhuman strength as I gracefully entered through the window to find Bella sobbing desperately.

I felt completely wretched, seeing her curled up on the bed, her exquisite face hid by her hands. I resolved to make her understand that it wasn't her fault I was breaking up with her.

I had to tell her a story I kept hidden for far too long.

I crouched on the floor next to her, touching her knee, but she shrank back from the contact as if I was infected. It was the first time she showed revulsion to my touch; not even when she learned I was a monster of the night had she shown such loathing.

Nevertheless I went on. I whispered, "It's not your fault, Bella. In a way, I think this was fated to be."

She replied between sobs, "I don't understand how you could do this to me, Edward. Now that we finally got rid of Victoria and the newborn army."

I sat on the bed, noting with distaste that she scooted away from me. She finally looked up, her beautiful eyes wet with tears. I felt tempted to swipe my thumb across her alabaster cheek and wipe it dry but I did nothing, knowing she would hate the gesture.

I looked at the cluttered shelf on the wall as I began the story I had to recount, however much the remembrance hurt. "He had great eyes."

"I know," mumbled Bella, "Jake is beautiful. You don't have to rub it in."

"It's not Jacob. His name was Arthur. I met him in the summer of 1942."

Bella looked up at that, scrunching her face. "Arthur?"

"Arthur Wilson. He was a sailor in the aircraft carrier Saratoga. In those days, people were worried about the outcome of the war."

"So? I don't see what that has to do with me."

"It has to do with me, Bella." I replied patiently, looking at her as a wistful smile spread on my face. "Because I fell in love with him."

Bella opened her mouth to speak but no words came out. After a few seconds, she whispered, "In 1942?"

"I've felt drawn to men, Bella, ever since I became a vampire. I've always repressed it. Perhaps in my human life too, but that part is shrouded in forgetfulness. What I remember vividly about my human life is my family, especially my mother. Other things, they come and go."

Bella grabbed the corner of the comforter and wiped her cheeks, cocking her head as if she wanted to hear more.

"In the 40s being gay was widely condemned. We lived in Alaska then. One day I was coming home from the high school I attended at the time and met him at the gas station. He was on furlough, visiting his family. Arthur was handsome and strong; he called up something in me I thought I'd lost when I died and became what I am."

Bella picked up the iPad from the floor, opening a browser window, fiddling with it. "What happened? Did you…?"

She trailed off, staring at the screen as if the web held the answers to her pain, finally continuing in a small voice. "Did you turn him? I bet being eternal and young, he left you."

At that moment I detested my inability to shed tears, recalling when I couldn't cry the day I heard about Arthur's fate. "No, Bella. He died."

I squared my shoulders, looking intently at the wall filled with photos. "We flirted; in the week we spent together we did many things. Today they'd be considered quaint - holding hands, kissing. Mostly, we talked. We made plans for the future."

"What happened? Did he die at sea?"

"No, Bella. The day before he was to return to the Saratoga? He was supposed to call me on the phone. When he didn't, I panicked and searched for him."

I shook my head, recalling that awful day with a shudder. I appreciated then the ability to read minds. I'd approached a Chief Petty Officer and pretended I wanted to enlist in the Navy. Unfortunately it was idle talk; I couldn't do it, condemned to watch from the sidelines forever.

Bella nervously played with the hem of her blouse. "You've never talked about this, Edward."

"You never asked me about what I felt during those long decades." I said curtly, noting her shivering.

I waved my hand, trying to appear nonchalant. "But that's another story. The Navy officer? I read his mind and found the bitter truth. Arthur had been murdered."

"What?" Bella's hand jerked away from her blouse. "You think someone found out he was gay?"

I nodded, recalling that part of the story. "I was devastated. Like you say, I thought someone had seen us, that Arthur had been killed because of me. Two days after hearing that, I went to the morgue and read the coroner's mind. It was much worse."

"What do you mean?" Bella hefted the iPad, breathing heavily as she resolutely refused to cry anymore.

At that moment I felt confident that she could put the past behind, that she would find someone else to spend the rest of her life with. After all, the girl had spunk; it was Bella that bought me time enough to extricate myself from Victoria and Riley.

"Arthur's body was found drained of blood." I touched my cheeks, dry as always. They'd never feel the tears of pain that were reserved for true humans. This inability to cry made me howl inside.

I plodded on with my woeful story. "He wasn't killed because he was gay; he was murdered by a vampire because he was with me. That day I vowed that I would never be the cause of someone else dying. That's why…"

I hid my face on my hands, feeling Bella gently touching my head. "So when Alice told you that I had-"

"Yes, Bella. When I thought that you were dead because of me, I felt so wretched I knew I had to stop this… touching people's lives, cursing them so they die."

Bella's empathetic moment suddenly departed as she pushed away the computer. "But the gay thing, Edward! You kept that to yourself. What happened to all that trust between us?"

"Bella, I-" My explanations went unheard, because Bella continued, her face becoming splotchy with anger.

"And now you suddenly turn gay on me, with Jacob of all people? Tell me…" Bella paused in her tirade, choosing her words carefully. "What made you change your mind?"

I couldn't tell her that I'd been having serious doubts about our marriage, that maybe I was marrying her out of devotion to my mother. If I told her that ultimately her behavior caused the doubts, she would start weeping again. So I kept my mouth shut.

Instead I just replied wearily, "Whatever it was, it's my fault and no one else's, not yours, especially not Jacob's. As always he's caught in the middle."

"Edward, you just broke my heart again. This time there's no coming back. I don't want to ever see you again." Bella pointed to the window, her face determined. "Go!"

I stood up and went to the window. It had left me exhausted, mentally if not physically, this hurting so badly Bella's feelings and the talk about the past I was condemned to carry with me till the day I finally perished. As I balanced on the edge of the window, I turned to her. "If anything happens to Jake, anything at all that I have caused? I will end my cursed existence once and for all."

Without waiting for her answer, I jumped down the window, landing with the ease of the eternal predator.

I went to the Ducati and turned it on. As I drove along Bogachiel Avenue, I felt at my lowest point in years. I pushed the pedal of the bike and rushed forwards, the air whipping my hair. Obliterating the lingering, intoxicating scent of Bella. Flapping my jacket. Caressing my face just like I imagined Jake would.

My thoughts revolved around my wolf, as relentless as the pull of the undertow at the beach. When I reached North Forks Avenue I turned to the left, to La Push. I didn't intend to breach the treaty. I just needed to be near Jacob, to reassure myself in some way that he wasn't dead, that he hadn't suffered Arthur's fate. I needed to catch his scent in the air.

I ran through the woods. Though it was the new moon, my vision allowed me the luxury to know exactly where I was going. The only sounds were crunching twigs under my feet and the rustling branches as I sped by. I was following Jake's earthy scent, mindful not to trespass into Quileute territory.

Reaching the border, I stopped near a cedar. There was only starlight to guide my gaze, but it didn't matter. All the stars in the universe were as ephemeral as the twirling leaves that drifted past me, because my eyes fixed on his magnificence.

Jake approached me with the confident swagger that had irritated me so much at first. Naked, with only the cutoff jeans tied around his slim ankle.

But my wolf's expression was troubled, belying his strut. Jake stopped two feet away from me and crossed his arms, as my heated gaze drifted to his pert nipples. "You finally told Bella, huh?"

"I heard you on the phone, Jake."

"She provoked me; she said I betrayed her!" Jake stomped on the ground, the crunching leaves accompanying his words, adding a few notes to the sonata I envisioned in my head.

Jake stood tall in front of me. Starlight caressed his bulging biceps, his slim waist, his abs, and his cock which was so enticingly soft.

My thoughts drifted away from despair, towards heat and warmth as if following the score of a Beethoven piece.

Jacob bit his plump lip and I was overcome with the need to taste him.

Apparently he saw something in my face; in a swift motion his hands - those big paws of his - gripped my waist. He was clutching me to him, his burgeoning erection pressed against my pants.

He pushed me against the cedar so violently that its branches shook. I could hear the animals of the forest scampering away in fear.

Jake slipped one hand inside my silk shirt, playing with my nipples, teasing them, making me groan. In my haste to take off my shirt, some buttons were torn off.

Jake's fingers splayed against my cheeks and mouth in an awkward caress. Taking his index finger, I sucked on it greedily as his moaning and the scent of his arousal filled my senses.

Shoes, pants and briefs were gone in a blur in front of his heated gaze, without giving Jake time to blink.

His left hand caressed my waist and descended to my cock. Giving it a slight squeeze, Jake started playing, his hand sliding down, twisting my ball-sack. Filling me with warmth enough to chase away the coldest thought.

Despite the wrenching scene that happened at Bella's, I felt oddly liberated. Jake and I didn't have to hide from her anymore. We could be together as lovers, join our bodies without the fear of Bella learning about us.

Jake knelt and took my cock into his hands, staring at it as if it was an especially valuable tool for his car. His thoughts centered on me, feelings of arousal and belonging, jealousy and pride freely mixing.

His warm lips kissed my cockhead softly, driving me to distraction.

"Stop teasing, Jake!"

He looked up at me, smirking. "Sure, sure."

His breath against my glans was intoxicating. I wanted to plunge inside his mouth but I refrained, reading his intentions.

Finally, at long last, his mouth latched onto my cock. His tongue, moist and warm, rubbed circles around my glans as if it was a lollipop.

I lost myself in the sensual moment, forgetting about my checkered past, my relationship with Bella, everything. Jake had that power over me.

I came back to the present when I heard Jacob's grunts, a feeble echo of his churning thoughts. I heard the squelching sounds he made as he rubbed his cock, wet with precome, with his left hand.

Realizing I was being selfish, I stepped back from my wolf, smirking at his disappointed face. Only a thin thread of saliva connected my body to his lips.

I grabbed his strong shoulders and pulled him up. His disappointment vanished when I knelt and leaned towards his crotch, inhaling the musky scent of the man.

I licked his shaft, holding with my right hand his wobbling cock. Just like the sexy mutt had done with me, I teased him, licking from the base of the shaft to the cockhead until he pleaded, "C'mon, leech!"

Jake's thoughts were full of appreciation when I wrapped my lips around his cockhead; feeling his knees buckling I wrapped my arms around his thighs.

I slid my lips, my throat opening to his whole prick until I swallowed him completely. I bobbed my head up and down slowly, my languid motions driving Jake wild, driving him to pump his hips, fucking his cock into my mouth.

He didn't last long and neither did I. As I made love to his shaft I had my hand wrapped around my needy cock. His thoughts of lust and love drove me to a shattering climax as Jake came, his seed filling my throat.

Afterwards, I reclined against the cedar as Jake put his head on my lap, gazing starward.

"I'm hoping for a shooting star, man." Jacob said hoarsely.

Ruffling his head, I smiled affectionately when I sensed the tiredness ebbing its way into his mind. "Why, pup?"

"So I could make a wish."

At that moment the wolf tensed; following his thoughts I looked up as a bright trail descended towards the direction where the Quillayute River was.

I smirked. "What did you wish for, Jake?"

"Not gonna tell you. That ruins it, you know."

But Jacob's mind held the answer anyway. 'I wish this night could last forever.'

Chapter seven