herumtreiber

Title: Ghost Road
Chapter twelve: The Beta's advice
Author:

herumtreiber
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Angst, violence
Characters: Jacob/Edward, Paul, Alice
Chapter length: ~3,672
Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, not me. This is for fun, not profit.
Summary: Jacob has a dramatic encounter in the woods.

Table of contents

Chapter eleven: The handwriting on the book

The woods were my shelter, soothing this throbbing anger. My mind translated automatically the different shades of grey dotting the limbs into the yellow hues of the dried leaves my human form knew well. My pads treaded softly on the loam as I walked deeper into the forest with an easy gait. I shook my head as I tried to concentrate on my duties. It just wouldn't do if I failed at patrolling the land just because Edward…

A twig brushed my left forepaw and I shivered at the touch; then I swerved to the right to avoid some shrubs that stood on my way. I whuffed softly; it was pointless to try to avoid the issue plaguing my heart. Edward had used me; the leech had the fucking gall to propose me as replacement stallion so his Bella could get what she wanted!

I was in the middle, like always.

Why the fuck did I have to return? I was doing much better up north, breathing the clear air and taking the moon as my compass. I was free in the lonely wilderness, and that was the operative word because I felt alone up there. If Alice hadn't sought me, then Edward would be dead by now. My hackles rose at the thought and I raised my muzzle to howl at the moon, for I would have never seen his handsome face again.

'Think about the tribe, Jacob, duty first.' Mentally forming these words, I forded the Quilayute. The cold water soothed my body but the inner turmoil would not let up. I thought we were doing so great, and the date was so romantic and sweet! I wasn't lying when I told him he'd really swept me off my feet, because he'd brought me to the place which held the memories he cherished. It was a loving gesture I hadn't expected from Cullen. And yet, all the while he kept his mouth shut, guarding his fucking secret! If he cared enough to share the special meadow with me he should've said something. Cullen even said he hadn't taken Bella there!

But… he had wanted to talk about Bella when we were driving down 101 and I silenced him. My withers shivered when I remembered how soft his lips felt against my fingers as I shushed him. Wanted to keep that day just for us, with no mention of her. Perhaps he would've told me then, but I didn't have the power to read his mind, dammit!

I stepped onto a ledge near the shore, and my haunches tensed before I jumped out of the water. It was cold tonight and I shivered. To dry off, I violently shook my head from side to side, continuing with my rump and ending with the tail. It was exhilarating really, letting the wolf do his business.

I breathed deeply the calming air of the forest and shook my rump one last time. The sickly sweet scent of shrubs made me gag, though it was somewhat balanced by the smell of trees and animals scurrying around. How fitting, a dreary night for my dull life.

I growled softly. Really needed to get off this train of thought because I was becoming as emotional as Cullen! My fur rose at that while my forelegs pawed restlessly the soft loam. Wished I could make Edward feel as wretched as I did. But I just couldn't do it, wasn't my style at all.

I snarled at the thought of seeing him cringe before my feet, asking for forgiveness. I'd let him stew in his vampire juices for a while and then…

The scent of my pack mate in the forest made me look up. I noticed the crisp leaves on the trees limned by the soft moon peeking from above a breach in the clouds. Any other night I would have enjoyed the sharp view which human eyes couldn't see, but tonight I felt dismal. Tried to compose myself so he wouldn't see me like this but I finally shrugged, thinking it was inevitable he would find out through the mind link.

'Wassup, Paul?'

'Jake, are you there?'

I whuffed at that. Quil said all the guys were going south.

The earth trembled when he approached and finally the huge wolf stepped from behind a thick cedar, his dark silver fur glowing in the moonlight. He perked up his ears and stared at me without his usual defiance, more like an equal.

'What are you doing here? Thought you'd be on the way to the Quinault Rez.'

'Just tidying up some business.' Paul tilted up his muzzle and stared at the moon which was rapidly disappearing above the clouds.

Images of Paul and Leah flittered through our link; he had been sneaking around with her and now was forced to catch up to the rest. Who would've thought old Paul had it in him to go after feisty Leah?

He lowered his muzzle and looked at me sharply, pawing the ground. 'Yeah, Leah's nice. Guess we ended up friends after I stood up for her in front of Sam.'

'Why did you do it?' Paul had always struck me as one of Sam's true followers and what Seth told me just didn't ring quite true. Besides, as long as we spoke about the pack I could forget for a while Cullen's betrayal.

Paul stalked towards the forest and I followed him. Catching up with him, I stepped onto a round mound in front of a rock. It felt good to walk side by side with him, to have the big hulk of my pack brother between me and the darkness. The wolf inside huffed, feeling uplifted by the presence of one of his kind, and I forgot momentarily the worries that plagued my mind.

The shrubs trembled as we stalked past them. I turned my muzzle towards him, staring quizzically at Paul. He bared his canines in a wolfish grin as he stopped in front of a pale larch.

'I stood up for Leah because it's my duty as Beta. I must advise the leader, tell him when I think he's doing wrong, and believe me, Sam was very wrong that day. Wanted to go after the bloodsu…' He paused for a moment and then went on, '…vampires when he didn't have to.'

The way he had changed words in midstream told me he knew about my relationship, but fishing around in his mind I found no disgust. I was surprised because of all pack members, I expected Paul to be the most hotheaded about it.

He just snorted and turned his head to look at me. 'Yeah, pal. I know about you and the leech. Thanks for not telling me!'

I whuffed softly, lowering my ears. 'Didn't know how you would take it, man.'

Paul cocked his head and barked in amusement. 'Not my business at all. It's not my cup of tea for sure, but whatever floats your boat, Jacob.'

He stalked forward again, lowering his head to sniff at the ground. 'No traces of either leeches or humans, and we're near the spot where Quil found a bullet from those fucking poachers.'

I felt a pang of guilt at that; I was wallowing in self-pity when my pack faced this problem.

Meanwhile, Paul trotted towards a copse beyond a clearing, disturbing some birds. The owls hooting above me reminded me that life went on, regardless of my pain.

'Anyway, where was I? Yeah, telling you about Sam and Leah. Her words struck me as the plain truth. Sam cared too much for that girl, patrolling day and night her house as if we didn't have to protect all of Forks! After Bella died, he was stubborn and wanted revenge, as if she'd been one of us!'

Gotta admit his words thrilled me because I wasn't exactly keen on Bella at the moment.

Paul pawed the ground and walked towards me. 'So I pointed out to Sam he was wrong. Bella chose her life; she knowingly took the risks. Would've been quite different if your leech had impregnated a high-school girl who had no idea he was a leech and the perils entailed and so on.'

His words brought me back to Earth with a crash. Remembering Edward's betrayal, my eyes stung and I lowered my muzzle to the ground, thankful for once that we didn't shed tears like humans.

Paul barked several times. 'What happened, Jake? Your thoughts are all sad and you're crying.'

I wasn't surprised he knew; even though we didn't cry like humans, there were still telltale clues. I whuffed and my tail thumped the ground as I sat on my haunches. 'Sure you wanna know?'

'I'm part of your pack, Jacob.' Paul pawed the ground restlessly, avoiding my gaze. 'I care about you, though I don't always show it. Was quite jealous of you 'cause you've always been the golden boy, Ephraim Black's heir and all that. It's just… I guess being with Leah has made me grow up fast. That woman is very complex, and so pretty.'

I sighed impatiently; it was nice that he appreciated Leah. I'd always felt the only female in our pack was overlooked. But frankly I wasn't in the mood to hear him heap praises on Leah.

Paul read my thoughts and he glared at me. He perked up his ears and growled, 'So tell me, what's stuck up your ass?'

I told him what happened the pack way: my mind framed some thoughts and Paul read the rest from my brain. The fast exchange of information was usual business for us but it would have baffled any human, even the traitor Cullen.

'There you have it. Love sucks, and then you die.' Shrugging, I looked up at the hole in the cloud cover through which I saw the Ghost Road, the silvery river of stars.

Paul barked angrily and his tail swished violently. 'Bet the fucking leech has a lot of dark secrets, you should dump him, Jake!'

'Not really, Cullen's told me stuff about him which is awful.'

I lowered my tail to the ground, twitching it against the dry leaves. I remembered his pained grimace when Cullen confessed he'd killed those people long ago. Had to admit it took a lot of guts for Edward to tell me that because I could see in his hooded expression he plainly expected me to outright reject him.

My fur rose when I recalled the words I said on the car, "I want all of your sides, the good and the bad."

I whined low in my throat and turned my muzzle towards him. 'He's always been frank with me, Paul. But this time he and Bella went too far.'

'Really?' He frowned and lowered his rump to the ground as if he was preparing to attack someone; his heavy breathing came out loud in the silent night, interrupted by the occasional screech of the nocturnal raptors overhead.

'Edward told me those dark secrets which you read in my mind.'

'Except the one which was important for you, that damned leech!'

Paul raised his rump and walked away from me. He stopped near the tree and turned to me as he sat on his haunches. His tongue lolled as he grinned wolfishly. 'Lemme play the devil's advocate, okay? Act like a Beta to you?'

'Fine, fine.' I didn't like his predatory smile and the way his thoughts were tinged with amusement. If Paul made jokes at my expense, I would bite his throat; Beta position be damned!

He stretched his forelegs and lowered his muzzle to his paws. 'I saw Bella's notes in your mind, they were pretty insolent.'

'Said she played me ever since that day at the beach!' I growled low in my throat.

'I see that you're angry with her.'

'Those notes were typical Bella, thinking only about herself!'

'But at the same time, you're pretty devastated she passed away.'

'Sure, sure.' I flattened my ears against my skull and walked towards the forest. 'So what if I am? What's your point, man?'

Paul growled as he raised his body to follow me. We walked for a few seconds, and then the soft thudding sounds of his paws on the ground stopped, which made me turn around.

Paul was looking at me with his ears flat and his brow puzzled in a concerned expression. 'Bet you're angrier with Bella than Cullen, and you're taking that anger on the leech.'

My tail swished furiously, creating a whirlwind of dried leaves around my haunches. 'Are you nuts, man? What Cullen did is unspeakable!'

'Sure it is, but the guy was protecting her just as you would've done in his place.' He snarled, his canines shining in the moonlight. 'Both of you would have pulled down the moon for that silly girl. Don't you dare deny it!'

I looked at the sky while I thought about his words, sighing when the clouds covered the spot through which I'd seen the Milky Way. 'I would've protected Bella, but not to that extent!'

'You wouldn't have advised her to abort?'

'To save her life, yes.'

'If she didn't want to, would you have insisted?'

'No, it was her choice, Paul. When I was trying to make her fall for me and she said no, I backed off. I always respected her choices, though I hated her actions.' I whined in despair. 'I wouldn't have told her she should just have another baby with Cullen.'

'The girl was never aware of the consequences of her choices, Jake, she made mistakes and you always got mad at others.'

'Huh?' I tilted up my chin to gaze sharply at him. What was Paul getting at? Dealing with this new version of him was wearisome; I missed old hotheaded Paul because he was easier to deal with.

'Remember when she slapped me? You rushed to her defense. You pack a mean bite, you know.'

I pawed the ground angrily, my ears sticking to my skull as I snarled. 'You were threatening Bella!'

'With Sam, Embry and Quil present? Sam told me Embry was laughing his ass off. That'll tell you how threatening I was, but you got mad at me.'

'Can't you see I had to protect her?'

'She was the one to hit me! C'mon Jake, when you slap someone, what do you expect?'

'Don't know, man. I don't see your point, Paul. Bella's gone, now Cullen's the one who broke my heart with his stupid proposal.' My shackles rose and I had to control the wolf inside who wanted a fight; I growled. 'Let me point out that Bella didn't have that stupid idea. It was Cullen!'

Paul didn't answer. He lifted his muzzle to stare at the sliver of moon visible through the passing clouds; then he raised his forepaw. 'Fine, Jake, whatever you say. Gotta go. It's a long way to the Quinault Rez.'

I stared bewildered at him while Paul turned to run south. His tail swung up and down in farewell. 'My advice, Jacob? Just dump him. Ten of him aren't worth one of you.'

oOoOo

After he left, I meandered through the forest, trying to grasp in my jaws the strange conversation we'd just had. Couldn't make heads nor tails of it. If this was the kind of advice he dispensed to Sam, no wonder so many of the Alpha's decisions were so poor; though I had to admit Paul had proved a friend and listened to my tale.

I shook my head as I walked through the forest; I inhaled deeply to try and note any extraordinary smell. There was nothing, just an odd metallic tang I supposed came from the tannery on the town.

What did my fight with Paul have to do with anything? I was angry when I heard their confrontation; just vaulted over the porch and ran like the hounds of hell were after me. Had to get to Bella before he could pounce on her; I knew how easily Paul lost his temper. He should've just walked away after she slapped him, turned the other cheek so to speak.

I had to admit there was a kernel of truth in his words, though. After I phased, I didn't try to reason with Paul. I was so angry at him we just went at each other.

The crunching sound of a twig made me look down. I recognized the burnt stump of the pine where the poachers got the ten-pointer, though it was covered by a peach fuzz of moss. I smiled at the way Edward drank the deer's blood while devouring me with his eyes, and that thought made me wonder: if I had read only Cullen's note, would I be so angry?

I closed my eyes, trying to remember the wording. He wrote I was the perfect man to impregnate her; how dare he!

My heart beat faster after the proverbial light bulb went off in my head: Edward had written the note. He didn't mean to keep the secret, obviously wanted to tell me. He might've felt I would blow my top if he didn't prepare the apology or whatever. But then, why the hell did he keep quiet?

I pawed the earth restlessly, my claws leaving parallel lines on the muddy ground as I recalled how much time we spent flirting and groping each other. I spent hours in the garage working with Rose, plus all the wearying studies. The hours ran so fast, there wasn't much left to ourselves, and the scant time we had I spent distracting him with naughty thoughts.

I felt a twinge of remorse and lifted my muzzle, idly staring at the forest. Wouldn't surprise me if Edward thought that when Bella and I had a child, he would bind me tighter to him. We would become the perfect little family! I swore my damned vamp had so many weird ideas, like wishing I'd imprint on a Rez girl just so we could be close!

I lowered my rump to the ground as I tried to grapple with the issue. From the start I knew he'd loved Bella, but I chose to go ahead and seek whatever relationship we had. Told him I accepted his bad side when he awkwardly revealed his past, and I stormed out of the house without giving him a chance to explain himself!

What the hell was going on? I guessed Paul's talk had rattled me more than I thought. I was still angry at Edward, but Paul made me realize the harsh situation Cullen faced. Frankly, I felt like tearing his head off with my paws but I was in love with him. Deep in my bones, I knew that if he was in danger I would do everything to save him. And Edward had loved Bella passionately, way more than he cared for me.

I glanced at the foliage of the trees which was different; it meant I was out of Rez territory and approaching the Cullen house. I walked faster because my worry about the emotional vampire gnawed at me. I'd hear Edward out and let him grovel; then I'd give him the cold shoulder for a while. It would be hard to do, though. The man I would ignore was aware of my every thought and knew I wanted to jump his bones.

I was passing through the forest when I noticed shiny spots on a tall pine to my right. I walked slowly towards it and watched two red points just above a crotch with a twisted limb; they looked like the eyes of a monster. My fur rose in fright because the situation resembled the dream I had the first night I spent at the Cullens'.

I hastily stumbled backwards when the spots moved jerkily, but I saw no animal behind the eyes. They swung around, bobbing up and down on the trunk as if they were seeking their body. They slid rapidly to the ground and seemed to crawl towards me.

I backed away, and then I recalled Seth's words about the poachers. These were no ghostly eyes but laser sights; the poacher was hunting tonight!

I dashed to the right, whimpering when the damned red spots climbed up my leg and shoulder. I ran forward but a cedar obstructed my path. At that moment, I heard a melody out of nowhere. Came from the cutoffs tied around my hind leg, and I remembered the cell phone Rose gave me. I turned my neck and glanced down just when pain bloomed in my head.

oOoOo

The Cullen house

Carlisle frowned at his sons. Emmett was fiddling listlessly with the controls of his console, gazing up at Jasper from time to time. Jasper appeared strained; obviously he had used his powers to keep Edward's despair at bay.

"I'm going to the kitchen, dear." Esme's voice was tinged with worry. "I have to prepare something for when the young man returns."

"He won't come back," said Edward dolefully. He stared blankly at the plasma screen while Rosalie awkwardly touched his shoulder.

"Jacob needs time to think, Edward." Rose sighed wistfully. "The wolf is noble, he will forgive you. I just wish you had told him…"

"… sooner," Edward muttered, scowling at the neat row of books on the shelf. He shook his head, cursing the moment he decided to write down his confession instead of telling Jacob. "He won't forgive me."

Alice felt a ghostly pang in her heart when she heard Edward's hoarse voice. She leaned down to pick up the remote and flicked through the channels but after a few seconds, the remote fell from her limp fingers.

When he heard the soft thud against the floor, Edward frowned at his sister.

"I can see Jacob!" Alice's voice quivered with wonder which rapidly changed to fear. "He's…"

Having read Alice's thoughts, Edward screamed desperately into the night.

Chapter thirteen: The crossroads