herumtreiber

Title: The buck stops here
Author

herumtreiber
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Word Count: 1,840
Rating: R
Warnings: Fluff, humour, MPreg
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and the rest belong to JK Rowling, I only play with them.
Summary: Draco's parents try to help him find Harry

Table of contents

Musteltongue

"Where is my peacock?" Lucius waved his cane at the shelf where the white porcelain bird used to be.

"Don't know, Father. Maybe the kidnappers broke it?" Draco nervously opened and closed Harry's laptop without meeting his father's eyes. He didn't want to tell Lucius his precious gift was certainly destroyed.

Lucius tapped his cane against the shelf. "That settles it. The kidnappers must be Muggles! Only they would destroy such beauty!"

"Or maybe they had taste," muttered Ron. Draco nudged the redhead's elbow whilst he sought to fight back tears. He was quite worried about his husband's fate and his parents coming over and scolding him wasn't helping any.

Lucius reclined on his cane, which had the golden head of a tiger. Ever since he had been freed from the Dark Lord's reign of terror, the Malfoy patriarch had foresworn snakes.

"Draco, I wasn't too keen on your relationship with Potter. You'll recall our vehement disagreements…" After Draco nodded sullenly, Lucius went on. "But I relented. Circumstances made me change my mind."

"You mean, mother did," mumbled Draco low under his breath.

Lucius hit the wooden floor with his cane. "That may be, but you seem to have misplaced the next Malfoy heir!"

"The next Potter heir!" interrupted Ron, scowling at the blond man, who sniffed and turned his head, suddenly quite interested in the chiffonier with the ferret photo.

Draco spluttered. "Didn't misplace him, father! Someone kidnapped him!"

"Draco, your Potter is quite able to fight magic. I should know." Lucius smiled wryly. "Maybe he went willingly?"

"He wouldn't!" retorted the younger blond.

The exchange between father and son was interrupted by Narcissa, who was peering from the window at the building on the other side of the street. "Draco, there's a woman who's looking at me. She has those things you use to watch Quidditch."

She pointed a slim hand towards Mrs Thistlewaite's apartment.

Draco shrugged. "Perhaps she's watching birds? Muggles have odd habits, mother."

"I don't think so, Draco. She has a book on her hand."

Draco cocked an eyebrow at his mother's back. "How do you know? It's far away."

Narcissa left the window and walked towards the centre of the room, answering her son's question. "A magnifying spell, of course."

The Malfoy matriarch was startled by the huge blown-up ferret photo that leaned against the chiffonier. Under the effects of her spell, it looked like an enraged polar bear. She staggered back and with a swish of her wand muttered hastily, 'Finite incantatem.'

Narcissa glared at the ferret on the photo. "Draco, I strongly disapprove of two grown men, about to become fathers, having this…"

She trailed off, sniffing haughtily. "Rodent photo."

"I'm not a rodent!" Draco scowled at his mother as he mentally damned to the nether hells those kidnappers that made it necessary to have his parents in the apartment.

Narcissa crossed her arms, tapping impatiently with her foot. "I don't recall caring for a ferret when you had dragon pox, or sending you mice in your care packages at Hogwarts."

"Harry took the photo." Ron piped up, mindful of how mothers behaved when they got angry.

Narcissa nodded curtly to Weasley. "Thank you, Ron. This fixation with your ferret form worries me, Draco."

"I'm not the one who's fixated…"

Narcissa went on, ignoring her son's words. "I hope you will grow out of it. I shudder to think what would happen if you had your portrait done as a ferret. It would clash with the décor of the Manor, not to mention the reactions of the other portraits. Your father's ancestors are a very narrow-minded lot, just like him."

Lucius growled. "I'm not--"

Narcissa smiled sweetly. "The Death Eaters, dear?"

Lucius shut up, mumbling in Draco's direction. "Potter better show up soon, son."

oOoOo

Hermione walked rapidly in the hall, Blaise right behind her.

"For the last time, Granger, I need your help!" Blaise looked fearfully towards the other end of the hall, motioning for Hermione to hurry.

She leisurely brushed aside a curl of her hair. "And for the last time, Zabini, I don't work in that department!"

Hermione knocked on the door, grimacing when Lucius opened it.

"Granger, Blaise. Do come in." Lucius nodded curtly as he muttered softly. "Perhaps you can distract her."

Blaise gently pushed Hermione towards the living room as he closed the door. But he was too late. A flurry of letters slipped through the almost-closed door.

Blaise tried to escape the flying missives by running towards the kitchen but it was in vain.

Ron turned to Draco and muttered, "Howlers, I guess."

The letters followed Blaise whilst Draco shook his head, grimacing. This looked eerily like the time Harry sent him several Howlers when he missed Teddy's check-up at St. Mungo's.

"ILLEGAL ANIMAGUS! THE FINE IS 500 GALLEONS! PAY UP!" shouted the unfurling letters whilst Ron and Draco exchanged a very guilty look.

"How many times must I tell you I'm no cat Animagus?" Blaise yelled at the impertinent parchments, ensconced safely behind the kitchen counter.

Lucius called out after Zabini. "Wait, Blaise! Won't you tell me your secret? I've tried to become a tiger but nothing ever happens. Did you perchance use Severus' potion?"

Draco heard Blaise rummaging through the kitchen drawers. "Draco, do you have some sweets? Those letters scared me!" Blaise's voice came muffled through the door as the missives continued yelling.

"Sure, in the uppermost shelf next to the refrigerator. Just… don't eat the toffees or you'll start singing arias!" shouted Draco.

Hermione raised her eyebrows as the blond hastened to explain. "It's a new technique in the Department that allows people to record conversations."

She sighed wearily. "I wish I had it. Then I'd use it to find out who messed up with my Animagi spreadsheets. Many people have received those warnings, even poor Seamus and Dean. The letters arrived when they were, you know..."

Hermione blushed, averting her eyes from the smirking blond as he nodded understandingly. "If that happened to Harry and me, we'd be traumatised for sure."

She rubbed her knuckles, scowling. "As soon as I find out who's guilty of this mess, I'll sock them but good!"

Ron and Draco gulped.

oOoOo

At that moment the Potions Master walked out from the Floo, holding a fat black bunny in his arms.

Narcissa greeted Snape with a shrug. "About time you got here, Severus." She grimaced when she saw the bunny. "What are you doing with that… black buck?"

Harry grunted; his ears pricked up as his nose twitched rapidly. By Merlin's veggies! Narcissa smells like the Amazonian carrots!

Hermione squealed when she saw the bespectacled rabbit, as did Ron. The two Gryffindors approached the Potions Master.

"Give him to me!" pleaded Hermione whilst she squirmed.

"Mate, can you hear me?" Ron bent down to touch the white zigzagging strip of fur on the rabbit's forehead.

Harry squealed. Hear you loud and clear, Ron!

Ron shook his head, saying in a mournful voice. "I can't understand him, Malfoy!"

Draco petted carefully the bunny's head, mindful of his husband's moods. "It's because he isn't one of us, Weasley. Musteltongue doesn't work with rabbits, only with weasels and ferrets."

Harry's left ear moved forward as the right one pointed toward Draco. He squirmed in Severus' grasp, hissing violently. Musteltongue, what's that?

Narcissa shook her head, touching her lace wrist cuffs. "What is it you said, Draco? Do you mean the rabbit is Harry?" She stamped on the floor. "You boys have gone too far this time!"

"The buck is Harry, mother. Musteltongue is the language spoken by ferrets and weasels, similar to Parseltongue."

"I speak it," said Ron proudly as he puffed up his chest.

Harry's whiskers moved upward, vibrating as he frowned, concentrating; his nose twitching fast as he glared at Ron and Draco.

I reckon that means Ron can talk to you when you're a ferret! By Merlin's wasted rutabaga, that's not fair!!

Hermione tried to wrest the rabbit from Severus, who was explaining to Narcissa, "I found the bunny when I came to visit Draco and Harry. Of course I knew it was Potter all along!"

Harry squealed. Mione, you're hurting me!

Ron grabbed the bunny's paws. "Let go of Harry! You're hurting him!" He pulled the bunny's hind leg.

Draco didn't waste time; he knew how it felt when two people wrestled over a small furry mammal without consideration for his fur. Taking out his wand, he waved it jerkily as he said, 'Accio Harry.'

The bunny was freed from the grasp of his best friends and flew towards Draco. Using his honed Seeker reflexes, the blond caught his buck of a husband in midair.

Softly rubbing Harry's ears, Draco murmured lovingly. "You scared me, Harry! Don't do that ever again."

Harry grunted. It wasn't me! It's the twins' fault!

The blond touched gingerly Harry's body, making sure he was all right as he scowled at the rabbit. "I don't care whose fault it is. I just want you to be safe; even as a bunny, you go gallivanting around."

Wait, you understand me?

Ron rubbed his forehead. "You understand the bunny?"

Draco shrugged as he made his way to the bedroom. "I know those grunting sounds. Harry always makes them when he's looking for excuses."

The bunny's nose twitched violently. I do not!

Just as Draco passed the threshold of the bedroom, the rabbit started growing and changing into Harry. Draco closed the door behind him with his foot and then staggered to the bed under Harry's increasingly heavy weight.

The blond gasped as he crouched and laid his buck-naked husband on the bed.

"Thanks for saving me from Ron and Mione. They were pulling my leg."

"Are you hurt? Do you want a rub?" Draco gently touched Harry's chest.

"Later. I… have a problem."

Draco smirked as he wrapped his hand around Harry's erection. "I see. Randy as a rabbit?"

"You could say that." Harry squirmed on the bed. "How did you know it was me?"

The blond kissed Harry's swollen belly. "I'd recognise you in whatever form, Harry. I love you."

"Me too. It was really the twins' fault. The toffee…"

Draco kissed Harry, their tongues wrestling for a moment before the blond pulled away from the kiss. "You taste like soup."

"It must be the Amazonian carrots, they were incredibly juicy."

"Just like you, Harry." Draco rubbed noses with Harry, drawling, "Just like you."

The loud noises of people bickering in the living room and the kitchen were clearly audible as Draco framed Harry's head with his hands and kissed his cheeks, grimacing when the whiskers twitched one more time before they vanished.

oOoOo

"Did you really know it was Harry, Severus?"

"Indeed… I can perform Legilimency on rabbits even in my sleep, Narcissa."

"Then why didn't you return him sooner, Snape?"

"Granger, I needed to finish a potion!"

"Ron, stop snickering!"

"Ouch, that hurts!"

"Lucius, leave poor Blaise alone!"

"Dear, just let me ask the boy some questions."

Harry's toys