herumtreiber: (potter22)
[personal profile] herumtreiber
Title: Drapple - I
Author:[info]herumtreiber 
Characters: Draco/Harry
Word count: ~1,102
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: * Humour, Animagus*
Disclaimer:  I do not own Harry Potter or related characters. I don't make money from writing these stories.
Summary: In his Eighth Year, a snarky snake follows Harry around.
Notes: For [livejournal.com profile] vlorahp's prompt in January's [livejournal.com profile] hd_commentfest; and JMDC's Challenge #71, promise.


Table of contents




"Since you aren't mourning so much the people we lost," said Justin, disregarding Harry's glare whilst his hand snaked stealthily towards the brunet's wrist, "would you go out with me?"

An ominous hissing sound came from beneath the Gryffindor table. "Let me look at thisss tossser."

Startled, Justin Finch-Fletchley took his hand back. Harry shrugged and tried to calm the Hufflepuff sitting on the other side of the table.

"It's just an annoying snake that's been following me around for days." He pointed down at the 4-foot serpent that swished his tail like an enraged Pekingese.

The reptile sensuously slithered up the Gryffindor's wool trousers until he reached Harry's lap. Once there he coiled his sleek, dark-green body and peeked at Justin from just above Harry's treacle tart. The serpent shrank back, hissing admiringly, "Oh my! The biped's tendrilssss look just like my aunt's nessst."

Harry sniggered whilst he patted the snake's head. "Snake, thossse aren't tendrilsss but hair."

The serpent whipped his tail admonishingly against Harry's elbow. "I've a name, biped!"

"And I have a name, reptile!" hissed Harry angrily.

Meanwhile, the curly-haired Hufflepuff scowled indignantly at Harry and the green scales of the snake's head.

The serpent turned his head and flicked his bifurcated tongue at Justin, who recoiled from the sight. "Your sssuitor doesssn't like sssnakes!"

"He'sss not my sssuitor!"

"Saysss who?"

Justin huffed indignantly as he stood up. "I'll see you later, Harry, when you're not busy making fun of me with your slimy pet snake!"

Harry called out to the retreating figure of the Hufflepuff. "Oi, he's not my pet!"

"Oi, tossser," hissed the serpent angrily in the direction of the Hufflepuff table, "I dare you to repeat that in front of my coussssin, the boa!"

Harry frowned whilst he picked up his fork and speared a piece of his favourite treat. "Sssso, your cousssin is a boa? You're quite ssssmall for one."

The serpent swished his tail importantly. "Political cousssin. Hardly see him at all."

Harry continued eating whilst the snake looked around at the students who were having breakfast in the Great Hall. The reptile pointed his tail in the direction of the Ravenclaw table. "That biped with the burnt, limp hair isss waving its upper limb at you!"

Harry swallowed and lifted up his glasses with his index finger. "What are you on about?"

Following the direction of the snake's tail, Harry espied Cho Chang, who waved at him whilst she winked enthusiastically.

The serpent hissed wonderingly, "The biped hassss something wrong in its eye."

Harry waved his fork at the snake, ignoring Cho who pouted at him.

"Bipeds with long hair, they're girlssss." Recalling a certain blond, Harry shrugged, "Except Luciussss Malfoy, of coursssse."

The snarky snake hissed in fits, which during the course of his trying association with the serpent Harry had come to recognise meant laughter.

"Ssso," hissed the snake whilst he winked lewdly, "the sssituation promisssesss to be good. You're going to copulate with thisss… girl?"

Harry spluttered, "What? No way! Besidesssss she's a wet-kisssser."

"I see." The snake nodded sagely. "This girl's venom mussst have stung very much when she kisssssed you!"

Harry guffawed, causing the students who were sitting nearby to stare at him. After a few seconds, they resumed their conversations, being used to the snake that followed Harry around.

"No, snake. Us bipedssss… I mean humanssss, we don't have venom."

Looking with affection at the grey eyes of the snake, Harry hissed, "What isssss your name, by the way?"

The serpent coiled himself tightly, hissing proudly, "It's my great-great-grandfather's name. I won't tell you becaussse I'm sssure you'd think it funny."

"I'm Harry Potter," hissed the brunet, pointing at his chest, "I've told you before."

The snake shook his head. "Sssorry, I've forgotten. Just like you've forgotten your manners and leave me hungry." The reptile sniffed haughtily, "You bipedsss are poor hossstss."

Harry frowned at the annoying snake. "I don't have any mice at hand."

"Mice are for plebeianssss." The serpent pointed with his tail at the ornate silver plate on the centre of the table, which was filled with fruits. "Passss me the green apple, will you?"

Harry snorted. "Why don't you get it yourssself?"

The snake reared up his head so he was looking directly at Harry. Rolling his eyes, the reptile hissed angrily, "Becaussse I don't have your ssstumpy limbs. I've no doubt they're ussseful, but they would ruin my perfectly aerodynamic figure."

Harry rolled his eyes whilst he reached to the plate and grabbed the fruit, which he put in front of the snake. He hissed doubtfully, "Didn't know snakes liked applessss."

The serpent thumped his tail against Harry's school robes. "Where do you think the sssstory of Eve and the apple came from?"

Creasing his eyebrows at the serpent, Harry said, "How do you know about that?" Without waiting for an answer, he lifted up his hands. "Don't tell me, I reckon your coussin told you."

Whilst the snake leaned towards the apple and licked it reverently with his forked tongue, he absently hissed a reply, "No, it wassss mother."

Noting the way the snake lovingly caressed the green fruit with his tail, Harry was reminded of Draco's obsession with apples. He lifted his gaze and searched the Slytherin table but he didn't find the blond. Harry shook his head, figuring that Malfoy was closeted with McGonagall. Ever since their Eighth Year started, Draco spent inordinate amounts of time with the Headmistress, doing Merlin knew what. At least that was what his trusty Marauder's Map told him. Not that he was obsessed with the blond; it wasn't that. At all.

Harry crossed his arms and decided to name the snake. "I'll call you… Drapple."

The snake sighed resignedly. "That's a good name. Could've been worsssse."

Harry hissed wonderingly, "How are you going to sssswallow though?"

Disregarding Harry, Drapple sunk his fangs into the crunchy fruit and immediately realised he was stuck.

He trashed his tail and jerked his head, but his fangs remained trapped in the fruit. He hissed desperately, "Help me, biped!"

Realising he had the upper hand, Harry crossed his arms. "Not until you call me by name."

Drapple trashed his head from side to side, but his fangs remained embedded in the apple. Finally, he hissed resignedly, "Help me, Harrrry!"

The Gryffindor delicately held the snake by the head, relishing the feeling of the smooth and supple scales against his fingers whilst he grabbed the fruit with his other hand, jerking it backwards.

"Thankssss." The freed snake licked Harry's fingers with his forked tongue whilst the Gryffindor shuddered.

Part two




Date: 2012-06-07 02:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hogwartsvixxxen.livejournal.com
LOL me too.
Did you ever see Snakes on a Plane? ♥ *hugs* :)

Date: 2012-06-07 03:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] herumtreiber.livejournal.com
No; that sounds pretty ominous.

*hugs*

Date: 2012-06-07 06:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hogwartsvixxxen.livejournal.com
OH it was. Samuel L Jackson was in it





Date: 2012-06-07 07:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] herumtreiber.livejournal.com
Thanks! Nagini got angry because she was flying with her friends to a party :DD

Jackson saying that the snakes were on the plane was great!

Edited Date: 2012-06-07 07:29 pm (UTC)

Date: 2012-06-08 12:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hogwartsvixxxen.livejournal.com
You're welcome

LMAO :D

That line was the best thing in the movie. Hope you can see it.

♥ *hugs* :)
Edited Date: 2012-06-08 12:51 pm (UTC)

Date: 2012-06-08 01:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] herumtreiber.livejournal.com
There have been snakes loose in planes, I've read it on yahoo, I think.The way he delivers that line! Pretty funny!

♥ *hugs*
Edited Date: 2012-06-08 01:22 pm (UTC)

Date: 2012-06-08 01:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hogwartsvixxxen.livejournal.com
WOW! Really?

I know I love Samuel L. Jackson ♥ *hugs* :)

Date: 2012-06-08 06:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] herumtreiber.livejournal.com
I read someone was smuggling snakes on a plane over the Congo and it got loose. It was awful.

Other time I read that a car in Canada was hit by a flying bear... really!

*hugs*

Date: 2012-06-09 07:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hogwartsvixxxen.livejournal.com
WHAT!? OHMY!?
♥ *hugs* :)

Date: 2012-06-09 01:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] herumtreiber.livejournal.com
The headline was funny, but as I read it I got sad.

Turns out the bear was crossing the highway and a speeding motorist hit him. He went flying and impacted the windshield of a car coming in the opposite direction. The bear died, and the other people too :(

♥ *hugs*
Edited Date: 2012-06-09 01:46 pm (UTC)

Date: 2012-06-09 01:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hogwartsvixxxen.livejournal.com
OHNO! That is sad. :(
♥ *hugs*

Date: 2012-06-09 02:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] herumtreiber.livejournal.com
There's another story, this one with a happy ending. I saw a photo of a bear flying. Turns out he was sitting on a branch in a tree in a university somewhere.

They shot him with a tranquilizer dart, as he fell, they took the picture, but there were a lot of mattresses below so the bear was all right :)

♥ *hugs*

Date: 2012-06-09 02:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hogwartsvixxxen.livejournal.com
AWWWWW Now that one I like. It had a happy ending :) ♥ *hugs*
Edited Date: 2012-06-09 02:58 pm (UTC)

Date: 2012-06-09 04:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] herumtreiber.livejournal.com
In the photo it looks as if the bear is flying. The comments were pretty funny too. They took the bear back to the woods :)

♥ *hugs*

Date: 2012-06-10 06:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hogwartsvixxxen.livejournal.com
Awwww that's nice. I'm sure they were. ♥ *hugs* :)
Edited Date: 2012-06-10 06:50 am (UTC)

Date: 2012-06-10 02:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] herumtreiber.livejournal.com
No bears were hurt :)

♥ *hugs*

Date: 2012-06-20 04:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] herumtreiber.livejournal.com
The bear looks peaceful, as if he's training for the Olympic gymnastic team :)

♥ *hugs*

Date: 2012-06-20 04:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hogwartsvixxxen.livejournal.com
LOL Yes he does ♥ *hugs* :)

Date: 2012-06-20 12:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] herumtreiber.livejournal.com
Thanks for posting the bear! It was what drew me to the yahoo article :) It was nice that he made it safely to the ground :)

♥ *hugs*
Edited Date: 2012-06-20 12:59 pm (UTC)

Date: 2012-06-20 02:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hogwartsvixxxen.livejournal.com
Oh you're welcome Hon Yes ♥ *hugs* :)

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