Ficlet: Scanned ferret
Feb. 22nd, 2011 10:56 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
herumtreiberAuthor:
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herumtreiber Pairing: Harry/Draco
Word Count: 1000
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Fluff, MPreg, sneaky!Harry, ferret.... err... google!Draco
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and the rest belong to JK Rowling, I only play with them.
Beta: None
A/N: Harry and Draco continue baffling the Muggles - including the author.
Table of contents
Stuffed breakfast
Radiologist Carlotta Webb looked up from her notebook when the couple entered the room. The strikingly handsome blond man was tugging his pregnant wife by the arm.
Carlotta grinned. What a cute couple! Though by their clothes, they must be rockers - or punkers. Why, she even has a cute tattoo on her forehead! Pity I lost touch with the London scene when I married.
Carlotta looked up their names in her book. “You are the Malfoy-Potters?”
The blond nodded proudly. “I’m Draco and this is” - he pointed to the scowling brunette next to him - “Henrietta.”
“That is not my name!” growled the pregnant wizard.
“It became so when you said our magical wedding vows,” replied Draco smugly.
Carlotta smiled fondly at the couple. Ah, to be young - when love was magical! Draco is so handsome; he has dimples when he smiles so devilishly! Henrietta is so beautiful with her striking green eyes - though her hormones appear to be running mad, poor dear. She even has stubble!
“Why did you bring me here, Draco?”
“Isn’t this what you wanted, Harry?”
Carlotta sighed dreamily, entranced by the couple. He even calls her Harry! How I wish my no-good husband called me Charlie! Instead it’s always - Carlotta this and that.
Mrs. Webb warmed up the electronic device so she missed their next words.
“…wanted a Weird Sisters CD!” exclaimed Harry exasperatedly.
“Looked it up on Google, Harry! CD… phonogram… sonogram.”
“This is your revenge for the other day!”
“I swear it’s not, Slytherin’s word.”
Radiologist Webb hefted the small hand-held transducer of the ultrasound scanner. So that’s the group Draco follows. Definitely a rocker.
Carlotta pointed to the bed. “You need to take off your coat, Mrs. Malfoy.”
“I’m not Mrs. Malfoy - that’s my mother-in-law! And this is a robe, not a coat!”
“Sure, Mrs. Malfoy,” replied Carlotta patiently. Poor girl, the hormones must be driving her mad!
Harry walked to the bed and Draco pulled the curtains. Carlotta typed on her notebook whilst she listened intently to their conversation.
“Let me help you, Harry.”
“Don’t need your help, ferret!”
Mrs. Webb sighed. They even have nicknames for each other, how cute!
“Ouch, don’t touch me there! That’s where Granger pulled my fur!”
The radiologist shook her head. Strange, Draco doesn’t seem to be hairy at all.
Afterwards, the radiologist sat down, pushing aside Harry’s green hospital gown and rubbing a cool gel over the prominent belly. “Mrs. Malfoy, we may have to do a transvaginal scan.”
“Please do; that sounds interesting!” said a grinning Draco whilst Harry blanched, horror-stricken.
“I swear on my Gryffindor honour I’ll avenge myself!”
Carlotta smiled to herself. So Harry’s a punk, then.
She rubbed Harry’s belly, exchanging a commiserating look with the brunette. “Don’t mind your husband, dear. Men just don’t understand we have different plumbing.”
“Don’t I know it!” exclaimed Harry exasperatedly.
The radiologist placed the small transducer against Harry’s abdomen, moving it softly whilst she bent to type a command on the oval keyboard of the ultrasound scanner.
Draco stared hungrily at the keyboard and the video display screen. “Can you get Google on your machine?”
Carlotta shook her head whilst Harry muttered softly, “I’ve created a monster!”
Slowly, an image formed on the screen. Harry stared mesmerised at the image as Draco stepped away from the bed, shivering. “By Merlin! That looks like a Hinkypunk!”
“Better a Hinkypunk than a ferretoid!” growled Harry.
Carlotta sighed longingly. Obviously they prefer different scenes. Slytherin and Gryffindor. The Gryffindors are definitely punks!
Harry smiled lovingly at the screen. “Is it a boy or a girl?”
“We’ll see, dear,” replied the radiologist.
But when she moved the transducer downwards, the hospital gown - which Harry had put backwards - slipped. Carlotta was confronted with something she never expected to see there. A man’s bits!
“Oh, my!” exclaimed the radiologist before she fainted, falling softly from her seat and landing on the floor with a soft thud.
Draco bent to pick Carlotta whilst Harry snickered softly.
The blond slowly lifted her unconscious body and put her on the next bed. “That woman is heavy!”
“Why didn’t you use Levilicorpus?” observed Harry smugly.
“Why didn’t you remind me?”
But then Harry put his hand on his chest as he appeared to hyperventilate. “She’ll tell the others! They’ll discover us!”
“Calm down, Harry!” Draco held Harry’s hand, rubbing circles on his palm with his thumb. “I’ll take care of everything.”
“They’ll take me away!” Harry clutched his chest.
“Harry, I’m sorry!”
Draco was so intent on tranquilising his husband that he didn’t notice the maniacal glint in Harry’s eyes, or the way his lips tugged upward in a faint smirk.
“I can’t breathe!” Harry gasped. “You know the only thing that soothes me!”
Draco sighed in defeat and with a graceful motion, he transformed.
The ferret put his front paws on the edge of the bed, sniffing Harry’s hand. When he looked up at Harry, the mammal noticed the demonic smirk of the brunet, and hastily scrambled towards the door, trying to dash out of the room to escape his husband’s clutches.
With a fluid motion of his hand, Harry growled, “Google this!”
HDHDHDHDHDHDHDHDHDH
The receptionist looked up from the computer screen, frowning when she saw the pregnant woman leaving alone.
“Is everything ok, Mrs. Malfoy?”
“I’m fine, and for the last time, I’m not Mrs. Malfoy!”
“Where’s Mr. Malfoy?”
“He had to leave. You should see to the radiologist. She fainted during the examination. I reckon she might not remember the last hour, she hit her head!”
Harry hefted the small white furry figure next to his hip as he waddled out of the room.
The receptionist smiled fondly at the retreating figure of the brunet. Mr. Malfoy is so thoughtful! He had to leave but he went to the store and bought a plushie for Mrs. Malfoy! That ferret is so cute, his terrified face is awesome! I’ll have to get one!
Born the Animagus way
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Date: 2011-02-22 09:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-22 10:13 pm (UTC)Harry and Draco are funny in this context.
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Date: 2011-02-22 09:59 pm (UTC)hahahahahaha!!!
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Date: 2011-02-22 10:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-22 10:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-22 10:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-23 12:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-23 01:06 am (UTC)google!ferret!Draco is lovable!no subject
Date: 2011-02-23 01:10 am (UTC)And then tricking Draco into his ferret self! XDDD *giggles* The receptionist had me giggling most, though, with her outsider obliviousness. ♥
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Date: 2011-02-23 01:22 am (UTC)Harry's angry that Draco dragged him there, even though he wants to see his son/daughter :D
Slytherin!Harry seized the chance to trick Draco. The receptionist will be disappointed when she doesn't find a plushie like Draco XDDD
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Date: 2011-02-23 02:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-23 02:54 am (UTC)ferret!Draco is love, that's what Harry thinks :)
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Date: 2011-02-23 05:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-23 02:37 pm (UTC)It's fun to write, though Draco might not think so *ducks*
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Date: 2011-02-23 09:34 pm (UTC)LOL!!! This was great!
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Date: 2011-02-23 09:46 pm (UTC)Something tells me Carlotta may return to the scene, after her strange experience ;-)
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Date: 2011-02-23 11:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-23 11:27 pm (UTC)I had fun writing it :)
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Date: 2011-02-23 11:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-23 11:50 pm (UTC)I bet Barty Crouch Jr. never realised what his spell would lead to ;-)
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Date: 2011-02-24 11:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-25 12:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-24 02:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-24 02:24 am (UTC)Harry's formidable when he shows his Slytherin side :)
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Date: 2011-03-01 02:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-01 02:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-08 07:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-08 01:25 pm (UTC)